I’m really sorry guys but COACT is on hold. Any who here is the prologue of a new book series that I hope to FINISH.
A guy ran through the mass of students threading towards the hall entrance. Not like there weren’t others doing the same but he stood out.
He wasn’t running to beat the time.
“Jeremy! Jeremy you ass, you’ve got to see this!” he yelled startling everyone in his lecture room when he charged into the room. Eddie was a sight to behold- sweaty and panting.
“Dude! You look like you experienced cloud nine in sweats.” Jeremy remarked, giving his friend a once over as he relaxed in his chair- as much as he could. His huge body looked like a balloon squeezed in socks.
“Oh shut it!” The latter muttered trotting towards a seat beside Jeremy.
“So what’s got you all riled up?” His friend asked trying to face him but to no avail. “These seats are so frigging small!”
“It wouldn’t be if you weren’t so large.”
“You shut up and show me the darn thing!”
“Oh right!” Eddie reached from his phone. “Anonymous has dropped another post and it is hot hot hot!”
“Seriously? Dude, that guy writes about the weirdest things.” Jeremy replied trying to look into Eddie’s phone and ended up in an awkward position.
“Hmm-hmm, I guess you don’t want juicy gossip on your exey.”
Jeremy shifted sighing. A small pang of pain, either from the memory of his ex, or from his awkward position on the uncomfortable chair, drifted through him.
“Then you hafta read this!” Eddie grinned shoving his phone into his friends hands.
Girls you DO NOT WANT TO DATE on campus.
It’s a beautiful morning people and we do not want anything to soil it. Not even self proclaimed birches. Sure our great campus is a breeding site for relationships and stuff like that. But here are top seven girls you do not want to date.
First girl you do not want to date; Chioma Edwards!
Chi Chi is the absolute definition of sexiness. Or Aphrodite her self. With the long chocolate hair, rare grey eyes and that hourglass figure, I must confess, I had once being a fan of that body one time. But all that ends when you know exactly who she is.
The campus diva knows what she wants and what she wants are rich old men. And a few youngsters as a side dish.
“I used to admire that she was confident until when I found out she was a gold digging slut. Birch had been sleeping with my bestfriend!” Jeremy.
“I was a lonely nerd and I liked it that way. Sure I had fantasies about us together but they were supposed to remain that way. Imagine my surprise when the hot Chi Chi asked me to date her. Then I found out why, a month after we started dating. She wanted to get close to my father since he was, in her own words, “Foreign and filthy rich.” Curse that birch!”- Romano
So many have tried taping that ass as theirs and failed. Guess there’s no claiming a public property. 😂. A piece of advice to her exes, best to go for a medical check up. You might have gotten something.
Second Girl you do not want to date; Bethany Okafor.
We all know the ‘great’ Betty needs her cronies to survive in life. Guys who have tried now testifies. (see what I did there😁).
“You date Bethany, you date her whole clique.”- Her last Boyfriend Marcus.
“And her girl friends hang like everywhere. There’s only so much a guy can take. And when you pay attention to one if them, you find out you’ve failed some ultimate test.” –Ademide
“Then one day you’ll wake up to her complaining about how one of her friends think you’re sense of fashion is “sooo last year”, or her asking how to comfort her guy friend who just got dumped. WTF?”-Dare.
Go on ahead if you’re one for insecure clique queens. Heard she’s still single.
Third girl you do not want to date; Jennifer Williams.
Jennifer is the so so sweet girl, and could easily pass for a ray of sunshine. Add to the fact that she is cute when she cries for help, gives those puppy eyes and makes you feel like a hero. It sure increases a man’s ego and sometimes libido when he plays knight in shining armor for a damsel in distress.
That is till she becomes a leech and expects you to do practically everything for her.
“From homework, doing dishes, to fixing a broken window and her broken family. On one Saturday, she came to my hostel and ‘demanded’ I wash her underwear cause she had a blister and I oh so love her. Gross! I made sure to dump her under the rain if it’s any consolation.” Bad boy Chucks.
“She expects you to drop everything and rush to her immediately, when she calls. Sure she makes you feel like you’re everything in the world, but it’s irritating and annoying when she calls everytime she has a nightmare. One time I refused, she called me insensitive and selfish. Gave it up immediately, I cannot come and kill myself.” –Olayemi.
Except if part of your hero complex accepts washing of the nether world😂 and becoming a manservant, You do not want a Jennifer on your case.
Fourth Girl you do not want to date; Deli Omtosho.
Guys certainly love a girl who can drop it low, party like crazy and take shots than a pirate. Deli also known as Delicioso is definitely that cool laid girl every guy wants to claim.
Unless she’s that way only when she’s in contact with alcohol.
“Deli is very awkward when the morning after comes. It’s hard to converse with her when there is no alcohol.” –Steven
“It’s very hard to keep up with her. One minute she’s all wild and playful, next she’s like an invalid. So freaking shallow.” –Hameed.
“Our dates are always parties and we end up drunk. It seems the relationship feels normal only when we’re wasted and she’s wearing a tank top. Don’t know bout other guys, but I have feelings and emotions. Don’t think I want to spend my life with a girl I’ll have to get drunk with before I can actually have a good time with her.”- Uche.
Now if you’re down for crazy nights and awkward morning afters every single day if your relationship, then Deli is desperately available. Hears she’s being keeping a flask of vodka in her purse for courage. 😉. Moving on;
Fifth Girl you do not want to date; Veronica Manasseh.
Damn! That girl’s mouth is as loose as AF. She keeps no secret. Such a turn off for her killer body. She has an opinion on virtually everything and doesn’t know the things that are meant to stay hidden. We all know she’s the campus BBC.
“Going on a date with her is unbearable. Sometimes I wonder, are we here to spend time together or talk about the dating part of the school population?”-Kelechi.
“While we dated, I practically knew everything about her friends. Down to their favorite color of lingerie. And I didn’t even last a week.”- Jamison
“She practically told every one on campus that I wasn’t packed and had no stamina while in business. I was so mad, I had to switch campus.”- Ex student whose name we shall cover.
If you’re a fan of the radio, then you can go on ahead. She’s as free as a bird. Just don’t slip up and tell her your family secret or you’ll make the head lines.
Sixth girl you do not want to date; Adrianna Daluwon.
Badass, saucy, savvy, sexy, alluring. Girls like Adrianna are hard to come by. She can voice out anything on her mind, start and continue a conversation like a pro and impress your friends like mad.
“Until she begins to tell you not to dispute with her cause she’s always right. And how she’s a female and should hold the power in the relationship.” – Fayo.
“She makes everything about her. Demands that you tell her she’s beautiful everyday. And she complains a lot in that stupid accent of hers, *you’re going to the stadium? What about me? YIU have to take me to the spa?* *you’re with your friends? Then you have no time for me.*
I need to do this, I need to do that… She uses the ‘I’ so much, it’s like others don’t exist. Selfish Birch.”-Usman.
Sure she can be confident and sexy, but who would want to date a narcissist? Lord knows we men have enough already.
Seventh Girl you do not want to date; Tania Adelakun.
Saving the best for the last or shall I say worst!
Tania is a rarity, exotic. II can be such a turn on when you see her at the library, hair in ponytail, glasses perched on the aristocratic nose, and mouth biting a pencil head like no tomorrow. She works as hard as ever, have goals and dreams that must and will be met! And of course she lives her boyfriend dearly(She even picks the clothes he wears). She’s the type that would impress yo mama. And then your momma pulls you to the side and say “Never give her up.”
No problem because she’ll give you up first.
“Tania has dreams and will do anything to achieve them! And she expects you to do the same too. Such a control freak. One time she planned every five minutes of my life!”- Gideon
“And when you fall short of what she requires of you, she’ll drop you off like hot potato. Told me I’d slow her ass down.”- Martins
“Besides she prefers to date the top dogs. The big sharks. So if you aren’t a key to her ambitions, then help yourself get lost from her sight. That Birch knows no face.” –David.
There you have it folks. The seven deadlies you do not want to date. Sure they are widely known and highly respected on campus, these girls can ruin your career and heart (if you’re the emotional kind).
This is your one and only Anonymous!
Thank me later😉😎😋
What do y’all think about it?